19 weeks and my heart's thoughts.

So, this past week was week 19. The baby has been just rowdy and moving all over the place. I love it, I love it. Though, I have to tell you all, I feel like I am losing my mind. Always tired and a normal post/blog takes me forever to write because I cannot just spell anymore...or think. This baby is taking everything from me. Imagining other women being so active and working 40 hour weeks is, is, is...just respected on my end. Eeesh!

My 19th week was beautiful. I truly love my friends and the people around me. Yes, I do tend to get a bit more annoyed by shallow conversation, but then again...I'm guilty of that too. Sorry, hormones wanting to come out on a rant. So, this child/baby/creature/all of the above...thinks my bladder is a trampoline and night time is day time. Anyways, time is drawing near on what I will be having. I feel like I have been saying 3 weeks for so long, that it has just crept up on me. Haha, I imagine I'm not going to sleep that week. Now, that I'm writing this, I'm thinking I really need to keep up with it for the fact that I forget. Maybe invest in a baby book too. I just have no energy, but truly enjoying every bit of being pregnant.

You know, with huge moments in our life...or just life changing situations (such as whether you should eat a stuffed potato, smothered potato, fries, or sweet potato) it's amazing the friendships you make. I can honestly look back and see friends that were there for a certain time in my life and the ones that last for a life time. I think being fully aware of them and how much you need them is special. We should never take them for granted or vice versa. I live in moments because honestly that is all we are given. These moments measure into our life's book. So, unless present, you cannot fully appreciate that. It's hard, life is hard, life is easy, life is boring, life is exciting...etc etc....these are facts. The only thing we can change is ourselves and our mindset. For me, this is what pregnancy is confirming for me. Thoughts and beliefs that I have always lived by...but now really having to stand firm in them because this will not be easy, but it will be the most beautiful chapter of my life.

So, enjoy your moments and allow yourself to step back and appreciate them as they happen. I love you all so much. You all show me how beautiful this world is. We may be different, but I accept you.

In the beginning

Hi. My name is Ashley. Most would explain me as optimistic, sunshine, and passionate. They could be right. I have always enjoyed people and observing, and my faith and hope in all aspects of life is the reason I am who I am.

It was December 6, 2009, a Sunday. I worked a very long shift and went home to relax. A couple of hours later, one nap, one movie, and aching feet that brought me to Sonic. I ordered a jr burger, salad, rootbeer, and cheddar peppers. Proceeded to ask for white gravy to dip my tater tots in, and when the heart breaking news that they had just thrown it out brought me to tears. At that moment, staring at my many orders in the passenger seat, I realized that life as I knew it was going to change. The next morning, I woke up and rushed of to buy pregnancy test. You know, in movies it always takes 3 minutes (what feels like an eternity) to know the results. The first test I took turned positive within 30 seconds if that. I then took 4 more that day. They ALL turned positive as soon as I peed on the stick. I cried and cried. I was very excited and shocked at the same time. I never really thought.."What am I going to do?!"

Side Story: The doctors had told me when younger that I had a tilted uterus and it would be harder for me to get pregnant than most other women. This had proved true for so long. I accepted that I wouldn't have kids and even convinced self that I never really wanted to be a mother.

I called my mother to tell her I had an early Christmas present for her. Mimi hood. She nearly came through the phone in excitement. She would finally have a grand-baby to spoil and be part of its life. Now, to tell the father. Ah. Breathe. He was in shock and still is. That is to be expected, but this is a story of mother and baby.

So, now that you know how Pregasus came into existence...we can continue.

I maybe had morning sickness for two weeks after finding out. Then, the worse thing happened..food poisoning. I threw up for 24 hours and felt like death. After that, I had the easiest pregnancy. It truly was a blessing in disguise. My first doctors appointment was the day after my 25th birthday. It was amazing to finally get the first real acknowledgment of something growing inside of me. The next day we did and ultrasound and found out that I was 12 weeks and 4 days. My mom and dad came to the first view of our little joy. Seeing the baby was the most beautiful experience in my life. We were able to see he/she move and when the tech turned on the volume for the heartbeat, I began to cry. That sound will always stay with me...that moment is ingrained into my every fiber of this beautiful life. That day I was able to keep two pictures of my baby with me at all time.

Only a few people knew about my pregnancy. I knew that this was meant to be and that I really never felt like I would lose this child. I have been so tired and that has only tortured me more. Now that I knew there was a living baby inside of me...all I could think of is "I cannot wait to get bigger...I cannot wait to feel the first movements...I cannot wait for everyone to know...I cannot wait to find out what it is!"

Around the 3rd month, I began sharing my progress. Funny, everyone thought I was joking. Honestly, I was flattered that people thought I was that brilliant haha. 15 weeks, I began showing noticeably and started feeling the baby move.

I was sitting at home talking to a friend on facebook, and we were talking about grabbing a bite to eat. I've craved fruits and veggies the most...so when he said Jason's Deli, my heart started pounding. At that moment I felt the first wave of movement. It was incredible.

I am now 19 weeks...this little bugger moves so much...

Above pictures: Light pink is 13 weeks. Yellow is 15 weeks. Lavender is 17 weeks.